5 Ways to Find Happiness Without Seeking It

5 Ways to Find Happiness Without Seeking It

It can easily be argued that every decision a person makes is in the pursuit of happiness. You might say, “Wait a minute. I go to a job I hate every day just so I can pay my bills and barely survive.” True, but you really think that going to that miserable job will leave you happier than staying home and losing the ability to pay your bills.

The need to be happy drives everyone, but people pursue happiness through different means. Some believe they’ll be happy if they can only amass a large enough fortune. Others believe they’ll be happy by helping others. Some pursue a family, while other believe the freedom of staying single provides a better opportunity for happiness.

An investment banker and a Buddhist monk are still pursuing the same thing, only in dramatically different ways.

“Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.” -Thoreau

Can you make yourself happy on purpose? Can you pursue happiness and capture it like a child chasing a firefly? Science says “no.”

Find happiness without pursuing happiness:

1. Avoid overestimating the effect of your circumstances on your happiness. Even a perfect relationship and perfect job can become a grind after the newness wears off. You don’t need to live in the perfect location or have the ideal career to be happy. Nothing is perfect all the time.

* Studies show that people with modest incomes and possessions can be just as happy as the wealthy. There are happy and miserable people in the US, China, Russia, Saudi Arabia, and everywhere else in the world.

* There are happy and miserable doctors, clowns, homeless people, Christians, Jews, Muslims, tall people, short people, men, and women.

2. Searching for strong emotions. Studies find that the happiest people are moderately happy on a regular basis. The frequency of positive emotions is much more important for happiness than the intensity of the emotions.

3. Focusing on happiness leads to misery. Several scientific studies have shown that when subjects focused on happiness, they reported feeling lonely and depressed. Searching for happiness is a singular, perhaps even selfish, activity. Putting too much of your attention on yourself results in lowered mental health.

* Keep your attention on others if you want to be happy. It’s hard to be happy if you spend a lot of time alone.

4. Gratitude is an important component of happiness. If you have a lot to be grateful for, you’ll naturally be happy, too. Make gratitude a habit. Ask yourself what you’re grateful for several times each day.

* Set up trigger points, such as when you take a shower, put on your shoes, start your car, walk into your place of work, take off your shoes, and get into bed. These are just a few ideas. Think about your own life. What are your current morning and evening routines? Use those routines to remind you to be grateful.

Happiness is the goal, but it can’t be pursued. It just happens when you’re living your life. A few good friends, the right mindset, and gratitude are all the intelligent person requires to have a happy life. Live your life per your values. Following your values might not make you happy, but it will help to avoid being unhappy.

There’s no reason to put off being happy until you’re married, make six figures, or climb Mount Everest. Choose to be happy now.

8 Easy Steps to Greater Self-Esteem With Affirmations

8 Easy Steps to Greater Self-Esteem With Affirmations

Don’t feel 100% great about yourself? Join the club. Most of us could use a little boost regarding our opinions of ourselves. Affirmations can be an effective way to boost your self-esteem.

The key to using affirmations is to state them in the positive and to use them religiously. It can take thousands of repetitions to make a dent in your current level of self-esteem.

Use this process to harness the power of affirmations to enhance your self-esteem:

1. Determine the weak areas of your self-esteem. In what aspects of your life do you feel negative about yourself? It might be related to work or your relationships. Hone in on the areas of your self-esteem that need the most work.

2. Create affirmations that address your areas of weakness. Suppose your self-esteem regarding your work is less than you’d like. Be kind to yourself and create powerful affirmations even if they seem over the top.

For example:

I am the most capable person on my team at work.

I contribute regularly and in a meaningful way toward solving the biggest problems at work.

I am the person most likely to receive a promotion and a raise.

I am calm, cool, and collected in even the most stressful work situations.

Try to come up with a minimum of 10-15 affirmations. Make them positive and in the present tense.

3. Create an audio recording of all your affirmations. This will be used later. Ensure that the quality of the recording is decent. You don’t want the sound of a phone ringing or a dog barking in the background. Your recording doesn’t have to be professional quality but give it your best effort.

Read each affirmation at a normal speaking pace and speak clearly. Leave a short pause between each affirmation.

4. Write or type each affirmation clearly on a piece of paper. It’s important to be able to carry your affirmations with you everywhere. That could mean putting them on a small piece of paper or having an electronic version on your phone or tablet. Whatever format works for you is fine.

5. Spend some time each day listening to your affirmations. Ideally, at a minimum, you’ll listen to them while you’re lying in bed in the morning and in bed at night. Put on your headphones and listen to your affirmations repeat over and over. If you can fall asleep with your affirmations in your ear, great!

You could even take a walk at lunchtime and listen.

6. Spend some time writing your affirmations each day. Pull out a pen and some paper and write them by hand. Typing doesn’t count. This a highly effective way of implanting your affirmations into your subconscious. It’s not enjoyable, so you’ll have to be tough and ensure you get it done.

7. Read your affirmations. You’ve been listening and writing. Now, it’s time to read them. Pull out your list of affirmations and read over them a few times each day. Let your subconscious know that you’re serious. Keep at it.

8. Consider a little electronic help. There are free programs you can get for your computer that will flash your affirmations on your computer screen for short periods of time. You can program them to flash for periods of time so short that you can’t possibly see them consciously, but your subconscious mind will see them.

Imagine seeing your affirmations all day long at work!

Affirmations can be a useful tool for increasing your level of self-esteem. With more self-esteem, life will be more enjoyable, and you’ll be more capable. Create a few affirmations and use them several times each day. Write them, listen to them, and read them. Your self-esteem will grow.

Need an extra boost with cultivating greater self-esteem? Click here to schedule a hypnotherapy session at Boulder Hypnotherapy.

[Self-Hypnosis] I Am More Than Enough

[Self-Hypnosis] I Am More Than Enough

I am more than enough.

I am worthy and complete.

I treat others with kindness and respect. I support and encourage my family and friends. I express my gratitude and hand out sincere compliments.

I give generously. I share my time, money, and talents. I volunteer in my community. I do favors without expecting anything in return.

I overcome challenges. I persevere through obstacles. I strive to beat my last performance. I am resilient and creative. I bounce back from hardships. I adapt to changing circumstances.

I learn from experience. I can make any event work to my advantage. I forgive myself and others for past disappointments. I believe in second chances.

I radiate confidence. I trust my judgment and abilities. I recognize my strengths and skills. I live by my own standards rather than comparing myself to others. I know that I can accomplish great things if I am willing to work for them.

I develop my spirituality. I meditate and pray. I read inspirational texts and participate in my faith community. I search for meaning and deepen my connection with something bigger than myself.

I am fun to be around. I feel comfortable laughing at myself. I see the comical side of difficult situations. I relieve tension and sadness with gentle humor.

Today, I accept and love myself for who I am. My sense of security comes from within. I contribute to the beauty and harmony in the world by living an authentic life.

Self-Reflection Questions

1. What makes my life valuable?

2. How can I feel whole when I am experiencing doubts and fears?

3. How do my actions show that I appreciate myself?


Kelly Bearer, MA, ACHT | Boulder Hypnotherapy

[Self-Hypnosis] I Can Handle It

[Self-Hypnosis] I Can Handle It

I can handle it.

I am capable of handling tough challenges and difficult situations. I persevere until I reach my goals. I focus on learning and growing. I add to my knowledge and pick up new skills. Building my resources gives me the capacity to accomplish more.

I gather facts and listen closely. I ensure I understand the situation correctly. I change the things I can and accept the rest.

I remain calm. Managing my emotions helps me to make sounder decisions. I slow down and practice deep breathing. I visit the gym or take a walk around the block. I give myself time to consider the consequences of my actions.

I think positive. I concentrate on what I have to gain. I begin and end the day with encouraging affirmations.

I keep my options open. If I run into an obstacle while following my original plan, I try a different approach.

I ask for help. I cooperate and collaborate with others. I seek solutions that are mutually beneficial.

I maintain my sense of humor. I can laugh at myself and enjoy the funny side of life. A good-natured joke helps me to release stress and work more effectively.

I turn to my faith. My connection to the divine provides me with guidance and strength. I see the positive side of struggling. I use it to increase my wisdom and compassion.

Today, I look at challenges as opportunities. I know that I can deal with any circumstances that come my way.

Self-Reflection Questions

1. What is one example of a difficult situation I experienced? How did I overcome it?

2. How do challenges help me to realize my potential?

3. What is the difference between responding and reacting?

[Self-Hypnosis] I Am Stronger Than My Negative Thoughts

[Self-Hypnosis] I Am Stronger Than My Negative Thoughts

I am stronger than my negative thoughts.

I have excellent control over my thoughts, but sometimes I still experience negative thoughts. I accept that having a few negative thoughts is normal. A few negative thoughts are okay, because I know that I can overcome them.

I avoid thinking negative thoughts, but when they do occur, I choose to override them. I know what I need to accomplish, and I accomplish those things in spite of any negative thoughts I might have.

I know that I have a choice, regardless of any negative thoughts.

Many people allow their negative thoughts to derail their plans. I am stronger than this. I have the strength to continue even when I feel doubt or uncertainty.

I know that negative thoughts are usually false, so I can easily dismiss them. I use my logic to make wise decisions, and I stick with those decisions.

My emotional strength is growing by leaps and bounds. My mental strength allows me to do things others are afraid to even try. My negative thoughts are easily overwhelmed by my inner strength.

Today, I am only allowing myself to have positive thoughts. I choose to ignore any negative thoughts I might have today. I am stronger than my negative thinking. I can choose to have positive thoughts today.

Self-Reflection Questions

1. What impact do negative thoughts have on my life? What would happen if I were strong enough to overcome them?

2. When have I come up short because of negative thinking?

3. What would my life look like if I were mentally stronger?

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